Meet Jordan...
Warrior Campaign
Meet Jordan...
𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 "𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕪" 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕖.
I was married in 2012 to a man I had known and been in a relationship with since 2005 (with one two year hiatus). It’s a very long story, but I’ll try to be succinct. He became a very different person during the course of our marriage. The stories I could tell! The relationship chipped away at my self-esteem and my identity. And then I knew. If I stayed in this relationship what kind of role model and parent would I be?
My father once told me-“don’t expect someone who was terrible in a marriage to be any better in a divorce”.... and he was so right. I was constantly adjusting and readjusting my expectations and now they’re just at rock bottom — so I am never surprised or disappointed.
My number one job has, is and will always be to keep Tucker (7) and Phoebe (5) safe. Physically and emotionally. So while I continue to fight for the parameters to allow them to have a relationship with their father that is fruitful and safe, I also fight to remember how important it is for them to have positive feelings about their father. He is a part of them and thus part of their identities. I never speak ill of him while they are around and they know nothing of the struggles I’ve faced.
In the mix of dealing with all of this, my father, a seasoned and well-respected attorney, was always the one I went to for advice. He passed away, with very little time to process the impending loss at the end of March of this year... and so the gravity of navigating challenges was felt even deeper. But thank goodness for my mom.... perhaps an unsolicited reminder to hold the things you care for a little tighter.
ℍ𝕠𝕨 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕚𝕥 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙 𝕒 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖?
I don’t know that I think of healing as a destination, but perhaps a journey. Loss and trauma are part of life and I feel very lucky to have not experienced that until much later in my life. I’m a school social worker in an international school full of refugee students and while I recognize “my problems are still my problems”, it comes with some perspective. I can get through this. I will get through this.
𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕠𝕣 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕡𝕖𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪? 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕙𝕠𝕨?
My mom, my dad, my children, my dog, my brothers, my sister in law, my girlfriends, my guy friends, boy friends. Nights out, Exercise, cocktails, sex , holidays, therapy, vacations ... talking about it and having people validate me. Building myself back to whole, a little at a time— not quite there yet, but knowing I will be, and knowing I’m not in a rush.
𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕠𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡?
These experiences make us more resilient and they are the absolute worst and best part of life. They test our limits and help us to understand strengths we didn’t know existed. I would have never seen myself as a single mom and I still think I see single moms and don’t identify as having that much of a struggle because (while I know it’s tough, and my problems are my problems) I have a village! “Flowers grow from dirt.”
𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕚𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕒 𝕤𝕚𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕒𝕣 𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕦𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟?
Listen and validate
𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕤 𝕒 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕦𝕝𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖?
Strength and seeing my resilience and scrappiness that I didn’t know I had. It’s never too late to start over.
HMUA: Kamerin Litten
